Write another forumite's online dating profile....

[jjreason]

... using the format of a movie description on Netflix (If you don't use Netflix, the descriptions are EXTREMELY formulaic and stupid/funny from time to time).

For the non-users, it looks like this:

"Looking for/Feel like something adventurous/funny/etc (possibly adds 'with a dash of (a second choice)')? This one's for you!/Try this!"

I'll start with Jargo, because the gay British bastard has been on my mind lately and I hope he's enjoying the holidays if that's possible for his sarcastic ass.

"Looking for something gayer than fuck from the British Isles with a twist of sarcasm? Try this!"

[Ran]

"Like sailors a man in uniform? Well, my ship is coming into your port and it's full of semen."
- Slicker

[anarky]

"Horny uncle? Snigtad Flornbi is the nephew for you!"

[Jargo]

You been thinking about me? I'm full of feels Chux. Wait, what were you thinking? Was I wearing something hot?

This is for you Chux. Luff ya bro x

Do you want a guy who sounds like Walter Matthau with his balls in a vice, who jus' wubs itty bitty kittens and would stab you in the eyes for your my little pony collection? Then look no further, because BINGO! Ya found him.

[Ran]

"Ever see the Blues Brothers? Neither have I. Let's smash."

[Diabolical]

I'll have to try that one.

[anarky]

I don't need to write a dating profile to get your attention. If you're a mother, we're already "dating," if you want to call it that.

[Snarf]

Looking for someone who's so well-hung he can suck his own Sword of OmensTM, snarf snarf? Well, snarf, since JabbaJohnL can do that, he doesn't really need you, snarf. But maybe you can call him anyway, snarf snarf, and you can talk about Star Wars or something. Snarf snarf.

[Zaphod]

want a dick in your mouth? as soon as jjreason's done, i'll let you have a taste.