Write another forumite's online dating profile....

okay i can hear you now. and i don't want to. why don't you go fuck slicker's mom and get out of my face?

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jjreason
John Kalodner: John Kalodner
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Write another forumite's online dating profile....

Postby jjreason » Sun Dec 28, 2014 7:06 pm

... using the format of a movie description on Netflix (If you don't use Netflix, the descriptions are EXTREMELY formulaic and stupid/funny from time to time).

For the non-users, it looks like this:

"Looking for/Feel like something adventurous/funny/etc (possibly adds 'with a dash of (a second choice)')? This one's for you!/Try this!"

I'll start with Jargo, because the gay British bastard has been on my mind lately and I hope he's enjoying the holidays if that's possible for his sarcastic ass.

"Looking for something gayer than fuck from the British Isles with a twist of sarcasm? Try this!"
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Catchiest Catch Phrase 2008

Pork Cutlet! Pork Cutlet will know.... the truuuuuth......

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Ran
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Re: Write another forumite's online dating profile....

Postby Ran » Mon Dec 29, 2014 12:15 am

"Like sailors a man in uniform? Well, my ship is coming into your port and it's full of semen."
- Slicker

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anarky
sometimes not actually existing
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Re: Write another forumite's online dating profile....

Postby anarky » Mon Dec 29, 2014 3:06 am

"Horny uncle? Snigtad Flornbi is the nephew for you!"
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*--For behavior unbecoming anyone, perpetrated in real time over an extended--AH, FUCK IT! MORE MALIBU, BITCHES!!

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Jargo
christopher walken
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Re: Write another forumite's online dating profile....

Postby Jargo » Wed Dec 31, 2014 8:00 pm

You been thinking about me? I'm full of feels Chux. Wait, what were you thinking? Was I wearing something hot? :heybaby:

This is for you Chux. Luff ya bro x

Do you want a guy who sounds like Walter Matthau with his balls in a vice, who jus' wubs itty bitty kittens and would stab you in the eyes for your my little pony collection? Then look no further, because BINGO! Ya found him. :)
I have never read any of your posts, but from what I can learn I should say that for people who like the kind of posts you deliver, they are just the kind of posts such people like.
Whatevah!
Osculum mihi asinum!

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Ran
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Re: Write another forumite's online dating profile....

Postby Ran » Tue Jan 06, 2015 10:34 am

"Ever see the Blues Brothers? Neither have I. Let's smash."

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Diabolical
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Re: Write another forumite's online dating profile....

Postby Diabolical » Tue Jan 06, 2015 1:19 pm

I'll have to try that one.
"As they say in China, 'Arrivederci'!"
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*For the creation of the Golden Deuce Award.

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anarky
sometimes not actually existing
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Joined: Tue Sep 03, 2002 4:50 pm
Location: Fucking shit up, yo!

Re: Write another forumite's online dating profile....

Postby anarky » Tue Jan 06, 2015 2:54 pm

I don't need to write a dating profile to get your attention. If you're a mother, we're already "dating," if you want to call it that.

:thegrin:
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*--For behavior unbecoming anyone, perpetrated in real time over an extended--AH, FUCK IT! MORE MALIBU, BITCHES!!

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Snarf
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Re: Write another forumite's online dating profile....

Postby Snarf » Tue Jan 06, 2015 3:46 pm

Looking for someone who's so well-hung he can suck his own Sword of OmensTM, snarf snarf? Well, snarf, since JabbaJohnL can do that, he doesn't really need you, snarf. But maybe you can call him anyway, snarf snarf, and you can talk about Star Wars or something. Snarf snarf.
Snarf, snarf!

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Zaphod
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Re: Write another forumite's online dating profile....

Postby Zaphod » Tue Jan 13, 2015 1:01 am

want a dick in your mouth? as soon as jjreason's done, i'll let you have a taste.


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