It's 1990!

okay i can hear you now. and i don't want to. why don't you go fuck slicker's mom and get out of my face?

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anarky
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Re: It's 1990!

Post by anarky »

Here are six more completely insane ones:

64) Despite the idea of "Transformers" being totally re-imagined several times over the next 20 years (including one version set in Earth's prehistory where they turn into fleshling animals), the best comic book being published two decades from now will be based on the original Transformers--you know, the one that was canceled a few years ago. Wait, did I say "the best comic book"? Because I meant "the best three comic books." Yup, there will be three different Transformers comics, all based on the version everyone's already forgotten, and they will be better than anything else Marvel or DC put out. Okay, let's get crazy, and say they're being published by an indie publisher that started out making crappy horror comics, but eventually became the fifth biggest publisher in America. One of them will be by Simon Furman, Andrew Wildman, and Stephen Baskerville. The other two will actually be a little better than that one.

65) The lead singer of Poison will star in a series of shows where women with low self esteem compete to date him. He's had a lot of plastic surgery. He looks more like Joan Rivers than a rock star. He has, so far as anyone knows or cares, not recorded any music in years and years.

66) Kids will wear AC/DC t-shirts. These kids will never have actually heard an AC/DC song, and many will not even know it's a band name. They'll just think it's a cool logo for a clothing label, or something.

67) Guns 'n' Roses will disband. Axl will retain the rights to the name, and promise a new album for over a decade. In the meantime, all--and I do mean all--the other current members will record tons of material, both solo and in various combinations. GNR will finally put out a new album, and it will be one of the biggest bombs in music history.

68) Michael Jackson will be dead of a drug overdose. He will have had so much plastic surgery that, prior to his death, he will look more like a fiberglass skeleton than a black man--or even a human being at all.

69) Kurt Cobain* will commit suicide next year. The drummer that no one can remember the name of will record an album where he plays all the instruments under an assumed band name. Following a brief stint with Tom Petty's Heartbreakers, he will form an actual band that has the same name as the one he recorded solo under, and they will become one of the biggest rock bands of the next twenty years. Then there will be a Nirvana reunion of sorts. Hmm, what's the most insane fill-in lead singer I can think of? I know! Paul McCartney--no, better, SIR Paul McCartney.
[*--it is 1993 now....]

Super batshit insane time:

70) Disney will buy Lucasfilm.
I don't even need to elaborate. It can't get more insanely ridiculous than those four words.
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Tom Foolery
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Re: It's 1990!

Post by Tom Foolery »

Hey this looks fun! Let me try one.

71) The best selling series of children's books are about teenagers who are set loose in a giant arena and forced to brutally kill each other until only one remains. These "Games" are viewed by everyone in the world on television. Many teachers around the country use these books in their curriculum as teaching tools.

72) They remake the Gilligan's Island TV series. Except this time it's a plane crash and the island is magical. The show is so popular, a cult is started to worship it. And I can't tell, but I think Gilligan might have been a 400 lb Mexican guy this time around.

73) The Detroit Lions win a Super Bowl...Bwah hah hah! No, I'm just kidding. Ha ha ha heeee *wipes away tear from laughing*
"No Tom Foolery today, Ron. I'm tired of looking at your dreadful, speckled mug."
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Ran
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Re: It's 1990!

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74) Ok, the Lions won't win the Super Bowl. That young running back named Barry Sanders will be one of the best ever in the NFL, but he will randomly retire by the end of the decade short of breaking many of Walter Payton's records.

75) Tampa and New Orleans will both win the Super Bowl.

76) If you are a football fan in L.A., I hope you either like College football or don't mind driving to San Diego.
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anarky
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Re: It's 1990!

Post by anarky »

I'd like to go even crazier on that last one.

77) LA won't have a football team, but you know who will? (Let me think; need to come up with the most ludicrous possible city here.) Charlotte, NC! Yeah, right. They can't even get a baseball team, and I'll bet their basketball team picks up stakes and moves to some other city, maybe New Orleans. Where the hell would they put a stadium in Charlotte? Right smack dab in the middle of downtown? Oh, maybe I went too overboard with this one.
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Ran
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Re: It's 1990!

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78). If you liked Bill Murray on SNL or in movies like Ghostbusters and Groundhog Day, you will love him when he portrays FDR.
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Re: It's 1990!

Post by Zaphod »

79) ran will lose his virginity!!!
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Re: It's 1990!

Post by Zaphod »

80) rollo tomassi will find ran's virginity!
(don't ask.)
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anarky
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Re: It's 1990!

Post by anarky »

anarky wrote:64) Despite the idea of "Transformers" being totally re-imagined several times over the next 20 years (including one version set in Earth's prehistory where they turn into fleshling animals), the best comic book being published two decades from now will be based on the original Transformers--you know, the one that was canceled a few years ago. Wait, did I say "the best comic book"? Because I meant "the best three comic books." Yup, there will be three different Transformers comics, all based on the version everyone's already forgotten, and they will be better than anything else Marvel or DC put out. Okay, let's get crazy, and say they're being published by an indie publisher that started out making crappy horror comics, but eventually became the fifth biggest publisher in America. One of them will be by Simon Furman, Andrew Wildman, and Stephen Baskerville. The other two will actually be a little better than that one.
Let's build on this one a bit.

The best of the three will be about a bunch of random Autobots on a spaceship, flying through the cosmos. Though the crew is led by Rodimus (note I did not say either "Hot Rod" or "Rodimus Prime"), the stars of the book will be almost entirely "overlooked" characters: Swerve, Tailgate, Rewind, Chromedome, Trailbreaker, Skids, Whirl, and a new Transformers psychiatrist who transforms into a stick. The war is over, Spike Witwicky is an asshole, and teasers seem to indicate Megatron will now be an Autobot. Also, gay Transformers.
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anarky
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Re: It's 1990!

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81) The Guardians of the Galaxy will be made into a movie. It's set in the present, and stars Rocket Raccoon.
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anarky
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Re: It's 1990!

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82) Dr. Dre will be a billionaire.

However, the reason for his fortune will have nothing to do with either the dope rhymes that he kicks, or kicking in the bass.
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Ran
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Re: It's 1990!

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83) I know you're saving up money to buy those new compact disc things, but vinyl records will attempt to make a comeback someday. Some people will argue records sound better than CDs. This will be true for a while, but eventually they will work out the compression problems with CDs shortly before they become obsolete.
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Ran
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Re: It's 1990!

Post by Ran »

84) Shock Jock Howard Stern replace Ozzy Osbourne's wife as a judge on a nationally televised family friendly talent show.
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