Facebook status updates guaranteed to get some responses

okay i can hear you now. and i don't want to. why don't you go fuck slicker's mom and get out of my face?

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Rollo Tomassi
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Re: Facebook status updates guaranteed to get some responses

Post by Rollo Tomassi »

I made my girlfriend wear a fake mustache and fucked her in the butt so I could pretend to be gay.
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Diabolical
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Re: Facebook status updates guaranteed to get some responses

Post by Diabolical »

Would anyone recommend buying a fleshlight? I think my penis would like one for Christmas.
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anarky
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Re: Facebook status updates guaranteed to get some responses

Post by anarky »

Hey, ladies! You realize that when you wear "Pink," you think you're being cute, but all you're doing is telling everyone where you buy your bras. And that most of us can't help but imagine what you look like in various bras.
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Rollo Tomassi
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Re: Facebook status updates guaranteed to get some responses

Post by Rollo Tomassi »

"L. Brent Bozell keeps sexting me pictures of his boner."


"GONADS!!!!


Discuss."
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anarky
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Re: Facebook status updates guaranteed to get some responses

Post by anarky »

Dear extended family: No, Facebook is not going to donate "$50 cents" for every time someone likes a picture of a baby in a hospital, much less a "doller" for every time it's shared. (Snigtad Flornbi is not Facebook's CFO for starters.) All you're doing is making everyone you know either feel like shit or annoying the shit out of them, depending upon their personality. Guess which you're doing to me every fucking time you make me look at a kid with horrible burns over 90% of their body because you can't use some common sense? Here's a hint: fuck off.
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anarky
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Re: Facebook status updates guaranteed to get some responses

Post by anarky »

Does anyone else worry that their breath smells whenever they eat pussy first thing in the morning?
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anarky
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Re: Facebook status updates guaranteed to get some responses

Post by anarky »

Fun Facebook fact: Any status that begins with "I don't usually post about politics" will be from someone who, in fact, often posts about politics, and the above phrase will be followed with the word "but" and a long political rant.
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Tom Foolery
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Re: Facebook status updates guaranteed to get some responses

Post by Tom Foolery »

Will said political rant often be rife with inaccuracies and ignorant of actual political facts?
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anarky
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Re: Facebook status updates guaranteed to get some responses

Post by anarky »

Usually.

In my family, at least, I find that they revolve around how all Americans are becoming lazy and want handouts, blah blah, they believe in charity but not welfare, blah blah, keep Christ in Christmas and keep your damned commie hands off my guns.
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anarky
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Re: Facebook status updates guaranteed to get some responses

Post by anarky »

"I would like to thank all my friends who post pictures of themselves (or their wives) all dolled up for fancy soirees. Sometimes, I need wacking material."
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