my (unintended) visit to canada
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- vynsane
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my (unintended) visit to canada
so, my brother got married in buffalo last night, and our hotel was right on the niagara river where the rapids are at about 50% of their drop before the falls... which is down the block from the bridge to canada. my father in-law is driving, my mother in-law in the passenger seat, and as we were transported else-wise TO the shindig, they gave me, the missus and the baby a ride back to the hotel.
well, suffice it to say, we miss the turn we're supposed to make and end up in the one-way lanes towards the tollbooth to the bridge. we drive up to the single open cash booth (it is 1am-ish, after all...) and tell the guy we want to turn around. he says "oh, if you ask that guy behind you to back up... oh, no... that's not going to work now" as another 12 cars pile up behind us.
he then just tells us that they'll just turn us around at the other end, and says "the bad news is... i'm still going to have to charge you for going over the bridge." so pop pays the toll, and we cross the border. we get to the other end, and realize that only two out of the five of us have ANY official identification - myself and nana. being in the wedding party, my wife didn't have her purse or wallet with her, the baby has no ID, naturally, and pop can't find his license in his wallet somehow. this complicates matters, i suppose, so we're directed to park and walk into the immigration building and they run our ID's (and names/birthdates of those who don't have ID) and finally give us some paperwork and point us back toward our native soil. what freaked us out while there was another group of people being individually taken into another room for interrogation and getting their purses searched and shit... anyway, about a half hour gone.
well, we make the trip back over the bridge, and get an idiot who can't figure out how we're all related (why that even matters, i have no fucking clue...) and asks us the same fucking questions over and over again. anyway, we're instructed once again to park which is made all the harder by the two wank-offs standing on either side of a border patrol car with all lights flashing as to fully obscure their gestures on where to park, and walk into the american side immigration dept. building (obviously there for much longer than the canadian side, as it was a shit-hole in comparison) and wait for easily twice as long for the guy to call us over, talk to my mom-in-law and let us go. no one walked us out, no one gave us anything official to hand to the wank-offs, so we could've, for all intents and purposes, walked into the revolving door, waited for 30 minutes, walked out and gotten back into our car and drove away. but feel safe and secure that the dumbest people in the nation are protecting our borders.
so, yeah. had we had all our ID cards, we could've simply sauntered in and checked out the hat of america, as we didn't need the passport we paid $125 for rush service for the baby: not to mention the hours upon hours of the asshats at the post office trying to take a picture of her (yes, you need a picture of a 14 month old baby on a passport now - because she's not going to change in immeasurable ways before it's expired... not in the slightest.)
next time, i'll be sure to make sure anyone i'm in the car with have their fucking ID's on them next time. they could, of course, make it a bit harder to enter the bridge entrance, but then they can't get $3.25 every time some dumbass drives up the wrong entrance.
well, suffice it to say, we miss the turn we're supposed to make and end up in the one-way lanes towards the tollbooth to the bridge. we drive up to the single open cash booth (it is 1am-ish, after all...) and tell the guy we want to turn around. he says "oh, if you ask that guy behind you to back up... oh, no... that's not going to work now" as another 12 cars pile up behind us.
he then just tells us that they'll just turn us around at the other end, and says "the bad news is... i'm still going to have to charge you for going over the bridge." so pop pays the toll, and we cross the border. we get to the other end, and realize that only two out of the five of us have ANY official identification - myself and nana. being in the wedding party, my wife didn't have her purse or wallet with her, the baby has no ID, naturally, and pop can't find his license in his wallet somehow. this complicates matters, i suppose, so we're directed to park and walk into the immigration building and they run our ID's (and names/birthdates of those who don't have ID) and finally give us some paperwork and point us back toward our native soil. what freaked us out while there was another group of people being individually taken into another room for interrogation and getting their purses searched and shit... anyway, about a half hour gone.
well, we make the trip back over the bridge, and get an idiot who can't figure out how we're all related (why that even matters, i have no fucking clue...) and asks us the same fucking questions over and over again. anyway, we're instructed once again to park which is made all the harder by the two wank-offs standing on either side of a border patrol car with all lights flashing as to fully obscure their gestures on where to park, and walk into the american side immigration dept. building (obviously there for much longer than the canadian side, as it was a shit-hole in comparison) and wait for easily twice as long for the guy to call us over, talk to my mom-in-law and let us go. no one walked us out, no one gave us anything official to hand to the wank-offs, so we could've, for all intents and purposes, walked into the revolving door, waited for 30 minutes, walked out and gotten back into our car and drove away. but feel safe and secure that the dumbest people in the nation are protecting our borders.
so, yeah. had we had all our ID cards, we could've simply sauntered in and checked out the hat of america, as we didn't need the passport we paid $125 for rush service for the baby: not to mention the hours upon hours of the asshats at the post office trying to take a picture of her (yes, you need a picture of a 14 month old baby on a passport now - because she's not going to change in immeasurable ways before it's expired... not in the slightest.)
next time, i'll be sure to make sure anyone i'm in the car with have their fucking ID's on them next time. they could, of course, make it a bit harder to enter the bridge entrance, but then they can't get $3.25 every time some dumbass drives up the wrong entrance.
Life is short. STUNT IT!
- Diabolical
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Re: my (unintended) visit to canada
You should've used the the JJ/Carl card.
"Do you asshats have any idea who I know?"
They would've given you money for crossing.
"Do you asshats have any idea who I know?"
They would've given you money for crossing.
"As they say in China, 'Arrivederci'!"
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*For the creation of the Golden Deuce Award.
- anarky
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Re: my (unintended) visit to canada
Insane and a half.
At least at the Mexican border, there are all sorts of "last turnaround" signs. And I think they've got a spot where you can actually turn around at the crossing, too. (I may be wrong--I'm the only guy in southern California to never go to Tijuana.)
So, just to clarify, you were staying roughly opposite the spot where Clark fishes Lois out of the river in the scene where Superman II starts to go south too quickly to save, in spite of Zod?
At least at the Mexican border, there are all sorts of "last turnaround" signs. And I think they've got a spot where you can actually turn around at the crossing, too. (I may be wrong--I'm the only guy in southern California to never go to Tijuana.)
So, just to clarify, you were staying roughly opposite the spot where Clark fishes Lois out of the river in the scene where Superman II starts to go south too quickly to save, in spite of Zod?
*--For behavior unbecoming anyone, perpetrated in real time over an extended--AH, FUCK IT! MORE MALIBU, BITCHES!!
- vynsane
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Re: my (unintended) visit to canada
yeah, seriously, the street we were on just became the toll entrance. you have to realize to turn left or right at that intersection in order to not be stuck going to canada.anarky wrote:Insane and a half.
At least at the Mexican border, there are all sorts of "last turnaround" signs. And I think they've got a spot where you can actually turn around at the crossing, too. (I may be wrong--I'm the only guy in southern California to never go to Tijuana.)
i suppose so. it's been a long time since i saw supes 2.So, just to clarify, you were staying roughly opposite the spot where Clark fishes Lois out of the river in the scene where Superman II starts to go south too quickly to save, in spite of Zod?
it's close to the american falls, because we ran down to the river friday night to see the fireworks. it's pretty cool, actually, they shoot fireworks from a barge at the bottom of the falls there, so they explode only about 20 feet or so above the water level before the falls.
Life is short. STUNT IT!
Re: my (unintended) visit to canada
I am pretty sure the scene in Superman was actually shot down the gorge a ways- I should know, my buddies were in the film- from where vyn was stuck he could have seen the fence that the stupid kid fell from had he cared
Sounds like an adventure no-one would enjoy there, vinsunt
Sounds like an adventure no-one would enjoy there, vinsunt
Vince, NO!!!!!
I just ripped off most of your pubes!!
I just ripped off most of your pubes!!
- jjreason
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Re: my (unintended) visit to canada
Stuck going to Canada???? Stuck?????
You loved every second of your visit to our glorious nation, beeyotch.
You loved every second of your visit to our glorious nation, beeyotch.
"Something inside me....."
- RoIIo Tomassi
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Re: my (unintended) visit to canada
Happy Canada Day!
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- Tom Foolery
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Re: my (unintended) visit to canada
Happy Canada Day! Again!
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- Tom Foolery
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Re: my (unintended) visit to canada
Happy(belated) Canada Day!
"No Tom Foolery today, Ron. I'm tired of looking at your dreadful, speckled mug."
"Why do you hurt me in this way, Harry?"
”It’s a grid system motherfucker. Eleven up and one over, you simple bitch.”
"Why do you hurt me in this way, Harry?"
”It’s a grid system motherfucker. Eleven up and one over, you simple bitch.”