Dumbass stuff you've not done that'd be funny

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Mon Jan 19, 2004 1:03 pm

Two new ones, both related to restaurants:

1) When giving your name to the hostess at a nicer restaurant, give it as Grimlock. Then, when the hostess calls out, "Grimlock, party of two," you bellow, "ME, GRIMLOCK!!"

2) At a restaurant that gives you a pager, act completely normal until the pager goes off. Then stomp up to the hostess, shout, "I've got a good mind to shove this up your ass," toss it at her, and storm out.

kidhuman · Post by **kidhuman** » Mon Jan 19, 2004 9:23 pm

<blockquote id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote">Originally posted by Troopersmo
 Walk up to a chick thats in a bar, ask her if she'll be walking to her car alone later, and then let her know you'll be in the corner watching and waiting... <hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">

Thats not funny, thats sick and evil.

jjreason · Post by **jjreason** » Wed Jan 21, 2004 2:29 am

But if you do it with a "wink wink" lasse faire attitude, you just might get a cute giggle - and more importantly a piece of ass. Tough one, though, especially if she's ever been scared by an ex or whatever.

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Wed Jan 21, 2004 3:24 pm

Here's something I've never understood: why is it a "piece of ass"? Think about this literally. Would you really want a "piece of ass"? Or would you be too shocked and horrified?

mabudon · Post by **mabudon** » Wed Jan 21, 2004 5:13 pm

Yeah, just a lazy expression, like guys who call their girlfriends "old lady", even if she's years younger, drives me nuts...

I have LEFT a few pieces of my ass on roads and fences and stuff, but I don't want them back

kidhuman · Post by **kidhuman** » Wed Jan 21, 2004 8:33 pm

Well,thats one for lifes big mystery thread. I know I wouldnt want a pice of ass literally. Might have dingleberries in it. And who knows whose piece of ass Iwould get, wouldnt want JJ's or Mabs or anyone on this board.

jjreason · Post by **jjreason** » Thu Jan 22, 2004 12:19 am

Hey! You haven't even seen my ass!

mabudon · Post by **mabudon** » Thu Jan 22, 2004 10:13 am

Soooo....

Yer saying "don't knock it if you haven't tried it?"

It was okay with cornflakes, but this is another matter entirely, sorry JJ

Back on topic.... a couple weeks ago I was in that grocery store which I hate and I saw the dumbest thing EVER, grocery-wise...

There was a display of Clear plastic clamshell boxes, with clear plastic inserts designed to hold.... get this.......... INDIVIDUAL FUCKING POTATOES.......

6 individual potatoes for I think 3.50 .....

It made me wanna do all sorts fo stupid stuff, but I was so confused I couldn't think clearly... any ideas?? I was thinking of filling out some comment cards with witty remarks or something... it just made my mind hurt

jjreason · Post by **jjreason** » Thu Jan 22, 2004 4:38 pm

How anal can one person get? And no, I'm not talking about my last fucking post, perverts. Quit checing out my ass!

People love anything that's neat and tidy - I just love the overuse of plastic for ends like this.... makes my heart sing.

mabudon · Post by **mabudon** » Fri Jan 23, 2004 10:19 am

Hey, heart-singing guy, keep it down, some of us are sleeping!!!

Those individual potatoes are sorta my official nemesis now, or at least the poster-product for my anti-consumerism(and rampant consumerism, mind, I have nothing against people wanting or getting things..... just so I don't step on any dicks) views..

The same store also sells individual, little 1/6 of a pound individual potatoes wrapped in more environmentally-friendly saran wrap for 1.39 a piece... I guess it's for the rich people, those ones....

And the thing with the 6 packs..... there are like 6 different "types" (if you believe the labels, it looks like only 2 actual different varieties) for boiling, mashing (thought these would be the same, guess not) Roasting, baking, frying and I can't remember what other distinctions.....
Crazy thing is, you can get 10 POUNDS (yes, I said pounds, I was one of the lucky ones who was in school while the transition was happening, one day in grade 2 or so they just said "we're not gonna be using any of the stuff you've learned anymore") for 1.49.. GOOD POTATOES, too, with real dirt on 'em, not the withered looking, irradiated and sprayed with who knows what spuds that come in the Jewel Cases....

There, that should steer this ship away from JJ's butt... 'DOH!!!!

jjreason · Post by **jjreason** » Mon Jun 27, 2005 1:29 am

How about asking out the gender-switched freak that sits near you at work, then posting what you talked about on a web site where dorks come to swear? That would FUCKING ROCK.

Yoda · Post by **Yoda** » Mon Jun 27, 2005 11:33 am

Or giving shim(thanks mabs) JJ's phone number.

mustard man · Post by **mustard man** » Tue Aug 30, 2005 5:21 pm

heh heh. this is weird.[8D][crazed][roll]

pyrofreak · Post by **pyrofreak** » Thu Sep 15, 2005 5:23 pm

pfh, you should drive a shopping cart while screaming the mission impossible theme song, almost hitting people. it's the funnest thing you will ever do! well unless you play marco polo in the street on bikes, throwing plates at mail boxes.

mustard man · Post by **mustard man** » Thu Sep 22, 2005 2:23 pm

How about screaming random numbers in the NYC subway in a chicken suit?! That would be freaking hilarious! Ooh! Or you could ask jeeves why he sucks ass! Or feed a dog some preserved monkey kidneys!mrsparkle[???][ninja]