The Vynsane Story...

okay i can hear you now. and i don't want to. why don't you go fuck slicker's mom and get out of my face?

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Eternal Padawan
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Post by Eternal Padawan »

Sly's phone rang. "Yello?" he said pulling it off his belt.. Sly listened quietly for a few moments. "What the FUCK?!? Are you fucking kidding me? You assholes! I already gassed up the fucking <i>E.Coyote</i>. Do you have any idea how fucking expensive space gas is?"

"Heheh" chuckled Grimace "he said space gas.."

"Shut the fuck up Grimace..." barked Sly, "yeah, yeah. Thanks for not coming to kill me. Thanks for nothing, you pickle dicks."

SLy slammed the phone off (or rather he would have liked too. He was forced to just push the end button and put it back on his belt) "So we've already gassed up the ship. What do you guys want to do?"

"Road trip!" yelled Bo Rucker.

"I think...that would..be...space trip...since..there are no...roads...in space." corrected Chris.

Just then, Mo Henry, Teek, and Mo Rocca pulled up...
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Post by vynsane »

"nah, it's still considered a 'road trip' chris. the fundamental ideas behind behind the vernacular term 'road trip' are more powerful than the physical path you take. as long as you have fun, 'drive' for hours without sleep, crash with friends you haven't talked to in a long time since they moved, and don't bathe for so long 'til you can find a cheap enough motel, you're on a road trip, my friend."

"ah, mo... HENRY... you're here to... try to... KILL me, not doubt. as you've... tried to... BEFORE, with my various... cameos. [walken angry voice]you will fail again... [/walken angry voice]

meanwhile, on planet dubya, the sloth ninja army has already begun to multiply...
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Post by anarky »

. . . though it looks like it might be a couple of days before they get the hang of long division.
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Post by Eternal Padawan »

The evil henchman turned mastermind, asshole has begun recruiting an army to wreak havoc on Sly Wiley.

"So, they call you ORANGEtoaster?" asked asshole.

"Yes."

"And you are cumnuts?" he asked the other one.

"Yes."

"And you?" he looked at the third.

"my name is Jonna...."
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Post by Eternal Padawan »

Back at the launchpad....


"Okay. I guess everybody pile into the E. Coyote." said Sly. "We're headed to Moe's Tavern to meet up with them other Moes or whatever..."

"Holy shit! it;s Ben Affleck! And J.Lo!" said Mo Henry.

"She's still just Jenny from the block to me...." said Grimace.

Mo Henry pulled out a giant potato peeler and headed across the street.

'Where's he going?" asked Grimace.

"Ohhehastokillanycameosthatshowupfromnowon." rattled Teek.

"What? Jenny? NOOOOOO!!" screamed Grimace. But just before Mo Henry could potato peel Beniffer to death, he saw the latest issue of People....
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Post by anarky »

. . . which had Garry Shandling on the cover.

"Oh, man, I love Garry Shandling!!" he squealed.

"Garry Shandling?" Mo Henry shouted, turning. "I've been wanting to kill the SOB for hours!"

Now that his attention was turned from J-Lo, she pulled out her handy-dandy. . . .
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Post by Eternal Padawan »

..inflatable rocket powered bloomers.

"Hotcha!" yelled Ben "You haven't worn those since Bermuda!!" JLo strapped the bounteous pantaloons on and shot into the sky.
"Hey! What about me?" yelled Ben. Just then a shimmering portal appeared behind him. A Nordic version of Ben stepped out with a viking helmet on.
"Ya, I yam to be looking for the vun dey call Sly Viley." said the nordil looking Ben Affleck.

"You the fuck are you supposed to be?" asked Sly.

"I am the greatest actor in the vorld I come from, I am being Sven Affleck." said Sven.

Chris Walken leaned over and whispered to Mo Henry "Can you kill that one?"

"No, dammit. He's more of a parody then a cameo" whispered back Mo.

"What do you need to tell me?" asked Sly

"It's very important!" said Sven "You are needed to..."
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Post by anarky »

. . . stop Arnold Schvarzenneger from becoming President!"

"He's not trying to become President, jackhole," said Christopher Walken, "just the governor of California."

"Zees eez vhat he vants you to believe," said Sven. "But een my vorld, he ees President and eet eez horrible."

"What, has he mismanaged the budget?" asked Mo Rocca.

"Vorse! He has made it law zat vee have to vatch on the television the show called. . . .
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Post by Eternal Padawan »

"...The Simpsons!"

"What? That show's awesome! That's not a bad law at all." said Sly

"ugh. All the hay, and the stupid jokes and the overalls and that damnable Minnie woman. It is horrible." said Sven

"Oh shit. I think you mean Hee Haw. Why the fuck would Ahnuld make you all watch that shite?" asked Sly.

BANG! Ben Affleck slumped to the floor with a bullet hole in his head. Every looked at Mo Henry and his smoking gun.

"What? Did you think I'd forgotten?" asked Mo.
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Post by anarky »

"So, can you kill Hermi Odle?" asked Sly.
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Post by Eternal Padawan »

"I'm not sure. It gets fuzzy when you're talking about ficticious characters. Grimace over there for example, is off limits. Strictly taboo." explained Mo Henry. "But Spongebob? man if that little fucker shows his face, he's kebob!"

"What about that creepy little guy?" said Alison pointing.

"Shore'n yiur being a bit fouler in the mouth than I remember, Sly." said the leprechaun riding Dr. Doolittle's Pushme-Pullyu.

"hey, what happened to the mastadon?" asked Sly.

"I dinnae know. Yiur ken to talk aboot such things." said the leprchaun.

"Then why the fuck are you here, you greasy Irish piece of shit?" said Sly impatiently.

"I'm here to tell you about the almighty Snitz..."
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Post by Eternal Padawan »

"That sounds... like a Macguffin...if I...ever heard of one..." said Chris Walken

"What about an egg McMuffin?" asked Grimace.
"Shut up, you" said Sly pointing his finger at Grimace."Tell us about the shits."

"The almighty Snitz. It it is the exact reality altering opposite of the GNT cluster." said the Leperchaun.

"the GNT cluster...." said Sly trailing off in despair.
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Re: The Vynsane Story...

Post by Tom Foolery »

"mmmmmmmm" Sly Wiley daydreamed lazily. Suddenly his attention snapped back "Damn, it felt like I zoned out there for a minute. How long was I --WHAT THE FUCK?!?"

Sly looked around the room at the pile of skeletons.

"Holy shit! How long was I trailing off in despair?!?! What the hell happened to everybody??" cried Sly.

He flipped open his now outdated cellphone and dialed...
"No Tom Foolery today, Ron. I'm tired of looking at your dreadful, speckled mug."
"Why do you hurt me in this way, Harry?"
”It’s a grid system motherfucker. Eleven up and one over, you simple bitch.”

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Re: The Vynsane Story...

Post by Ran »

...a mother fucking pterodactyl. Upon answering the phone, the pterodactyl said...
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