The last ditch effort to ressurect the Fabled TOP TEN list

okay i can hear you now. and i don't want to. why don't you go fuck slicker's mom and get out of my face?

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Ran
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Re: The last ditch effort to ressurect the Fabled TOP TEN li

Post by Ran »

Top 10 bad Star Wars sexual innuendos...inspired by Slicker taking some chick's Star Wars virginity.

10. Shoot his photon torpedo in her exhaust port.
9. Toss the Gammorean Guard in her Sarlaac pit.
8. Going to bulls-eye her womp rat.
7. Enter the back door to her bunker
6. Land his ship in her docking bay
5. Blast her rear deflector
4. Crash his starfighter in her swamp
3. Jump into her trash compactor
2. Let her kiss his Wookie
1. Stick his Jedi Knight in her Bacta tank

Take care, Sir.
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Tom Foolery
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Re: The last ditch effort to ressurect the Fabled TOP TEN li

Post by Tom Foolery »

:lol: Number 4. is my fave.

Here are Ten more.

10. Toss some Klaatu in her Sarlacc.
9. Stick her up her scruffy nerf herd!
8. Over objections from your wise little monster, head into her warm dark cave armed.
7. Do something rather rash.
6. Don't come out of "hyperspace" too close to the "system"
5. Jam your infodisc in her real tight.
4. Stuff your friend in her smelly tauntaun to keep it warm.
3. Celebrate with some Yub-yub!
2. Do a little jizz wailing in her Catina.
1. Have your Dianoga pop out and look around.
"No Tom Foolery today, Ron. I'm tired of looking at your dreadful, speckled mug."
"Why do you hurt me in this way, Harry?"
”It’s a grid system motherfucker. Eleven up and one over, you simple bitch.”

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Re: The last ditch effort to ressurect the Fabled TOP TEN li

Post by Ran »

I liked your #1 and #4.
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Tom Foolery
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Re: The last ditch effort to ressurect the Fabled TOP TEN li

Post by Tom Foolery »

Ironically, 4 was the last one I thought up. I came up with 1-3 as I was reading yours, and then went back and did 10 down.

I was trying to turn "But how could they be jamming us if they don't know we're coming?" into something, but it was clumsy and clunky.
"No Tom Foolery today, Ron. I'm tired of looking at your dreadful, speckled mug."
"Why do you hurt me in this way, Harry?"
”It’s a grid system motherfucker. Eleven up and one over, you simple bitch.”

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Re: The last ditch effort to ressurect the Fabled TOP TEN li

Post by Ran »

I was trying to come up with something involving an Ewok, but couldn't.

But he can crash is probe droid between her snow white mountains then launch his lightsaber into her hand.
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Re: The last ditch effort to ressurect the Fabled TOP TEN li

Post by Tom Foolery »

11. May a tiny white starship shoot out the mouth of your space worm.
"No Tom Foolery today, Ron. I'm tired of looking at your dreadful, speckled mug."
"Why do you hurt me in this way, Harry?"
”It’s a grid system motherfucker. Eleven up and one over, you simple bitch.”

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RoIIo Tomassi
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Re: The last ditch effort to ressurect the Fabled TOP TEN li

Post by RoIIo Tomassi »

In honor of some guy who Tradewaits bitching because Batman Inc was "spoiled" for him, I give you

TOP TEN Movie Twist Endings Spoiled For you!!

10. Kevin Costner was the Soviet mole the entire time.
9. Denzel is blind the entire time.
8. Ed Norton was faking it.
7. Christian Bale was twins.
6. See the Statue of Liberty? OMG He was on Earth the whole time!
5. Ed Norton and Brad Pitt are the same guy.
4. Kevin Spacey is the bad guy.
3. Bruce Willis is a ghost.
2. It's Anthony Perkins in drag.
1. Soylent Green is people.


FYI Crying Game did not make the list because my Mother and sister rented it when it came out and I walked into the room and after five minutes (having never seen the film or knowing the 'twist') I said "Uhmm...that is clearly a dude." and they got pissed because I ruined it for them.
Ditto The Village and What Lies Beneath because I figured out the twist from Watching the Trailers.
"Say Jim! Whoo! That is a bad outfit! Whoooo!"
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Re: The last ditch effort to ressurect the Fabled TOP TEN li

Post by Tom Foolery »

This is more appropriate for Kentucky Derby weekend in late May, but I'll have forgotten by then so I'm doing it now while I'm still thinking about it. I present to you...

TOP TEN inappropriate names for race horses!

10. Moose Knuckle
9. Hurricane Katrina
8. Gay Divorceé
7. Bin Laden's Li'l Helper
6. Pray the Gay Away
5. Slave Trade Bait
4. Casey is Pregnant
3. Bukakke!
2. SandyHook Shooter

And the most inappropriate horse race name ever --

1. Legitimate Rape
"No Tom Foolery today, Ron. I'm tired of looking at your dreadful, speckled mug."
"Why do you hurt me in this way, Harry?"
”It’s a grid system motherfucker. Eleven up and one over, you simple bitch.”

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Re: The last ditch effort to ressurect the Fabled TOP TEN li

Post by Diabolical »

Still the best real race horse name of all time:

"As they say in China, 'Arrivederci'!"
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*For the creation of the Golden Deuce Award.
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Re: The last ditch effort to ressurect the Fabled TOP TEN li

Post by Tom Foolery »

And since April First is right around the corner, here's Ten made up news headlines that websites traditionally try to fake people out with on 4/1.

TOP TEN Fake April Fool's Day News Announcements.

10. Gary Busey confirmed for Star Wars sequels as "eccentric Jedi Knight"

9. ABC Family announces Marvel's Power Pack series.

8. Didio "let go". DC Comics announces Alan Moore as new Co-Publisher.

7. Sarah Palin to receive $3.5M for a "tasteful" Playboy spread.

6. Universal Studios readying "Back to the Future 4" with returning Fox and Lloyd.

5. Marvel's Summer Event "Infinity" to "reboot the Marvel Universe the right way"

4. Fox forges ahead with "Firefly" reboot without Whedon.

3. Quentin Tarantino developing a Luke Cage/Iron Fist film for Marvel Studios.

2. LEGO and TT Games announce "Twilight" Lego Game, "Hunger Games" Lego game "in the works"

1. Warner Bros woos James Cameron into "Justice League Trilogy" director's chair.
"No Tom Foolery today, Ron. I'm tired of looking at your dreadful, speckled mug."
"Why do you hurt me in this way, Harry?"
”It’s a grid system motherfucker. Eleven up and one over, you simple bitch.”

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Tom Foolery
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Re: The last ditch effort to ressurect the Fabled TOP TEN li

Post by Tom Foolery »

TOP TEN places to post anarky's "No Fucking" signs.

10. WalMart's 10 items or less line.
9. Pitchers mound. Opening day of a Cubs game.
8. A Cub Scouts Pinewood Derby rally.
7. News desk during the evening news.
6. Front counter in a Wendy's. Or a White Castle.
5. Adult Film set. (irony!)
4. The 18th Hole at Augusta. During the Masters.
3. The Lincoln Memorial
2. The NICU ward in a hospital.
1. Catholic Church Confessional (oops! Too late.)
"No Tom Foolery today, Ron. I'm tired of looking at your dreadful, speckled mug."
"Why do you hurt me in this way, Harry?"
”It’s a grid system motherfucker. Eleven up and one over, you simple bitch.”

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Tom Foolery
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Re: The last ditch effort to ressurect the Fabled TOP TEN list

Post by Tom Foolery »

anarky wrote:I always wanted to see the Snuggle bear in some semi-pornographic commercial where he's pimpin' hos.
Did anarky inadvertently come up with Ted before Seth McFarlane did?
Does Seth troll these boards also?

Also, rereading this topic is hilarious. Especially the dirty Star Wars innuendos.
"No Tom Foolery today, Ron. I'm tired of looking at your dreadful, speckled mug."
"Why do you hurt me in this way, Harry?"
”It’s a grid system motherfucker. Eleven up and one over, you simple bitch.”

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Re: The last ditch effort to ressurect the Fabled TOP TEN list

Post by jjreason »

More Star Wars - pardon any plagiarism I only skimmed this page before posting:

Chewing on the Gimer Stick
Thrust his Gaffi stick repeatedly into the air
Manipulated her thruster expertly until she burst into hyperspace
"Something inside me....."
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Ran
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Re: The last ditch effort to ressurect the Fabled TOP TEN list

Post by Ran »

Ok, you inspired me to do another round. I'm using 2 of them from my post above that weren't part of the official list.

10. Feeding Oola to the Rancor
9. Letting the Mynock gnaw on the power cable
8. She needs that Rebelscum
7. Ride his speeder bike through her forest.
6. Dropping the clones off in her arena.
5. Taking that bongo to her planet's core.
4. Getting the odds on navigating her asteroid field.
3. Crash a probe droid between her snow white mountains
2. Launch his lightsaber into her hand.
1. Giving her that droid she's been looking for.
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Re: The last ditch effort to ressurect the Fabled TOP TEN list

Post by Ran »

Top 10 claims or proclamations about the singer/band's identity in a song.

1. "I am the god of Hellfire, and I bring you FIRE!!!!"
2. "My name is Humpty, pronounced with a Umpty."
3. "Please allow me to introduce myself I'm a man of wealth and taste"
4. "I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady"
5. "Here comes the hot stepper (murderer) I'm the lyrical gangster (murderer)”
6. "We come from the land of the ice and snow, From the midnight sun, where the hot springs flow"
7. “I'm killin' your brain like a poisonous mushroom, deadly, when I play a dope melody”
8. "I am smellin' like the rose that somebody gave me on my birthday deathbed"
9. “Everybody’s got something to hide except for me and my monkey”
10. “If I had a hammer, I'd hammer in the morning, I'd hammer in the evening, All over this land”
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