anarky wrote:They recorded motherfucking "Pour Some Sugar On Me." They could defecate in Lord Stanley and then hire a clown to jack off all over it, and no ill would befall them. The awesomeness of that one song would negate anything bad they could ever do.
No. Disgracing the oldest trophy in professional sports isn't forgivable.
Part of the blame has to go to the league. Why couldn't the NHL get a Canadian band to play instead of them? Isn't Rush still on tour? Where is Trooper when you need them?
What are the two most important holes on a woman's body?
The nostrils, so she can breathe in between squirts.
Slicker's Mom died and went to heaven. She's standing outside the Pearly Gates and she hears people screaming. "Why are those people screaming", she asks St. Peter. Peter says, "Because they are getting holes drilled in their head for their halos and in their back for the wings." She replies, "Forget that, I'm going to hell." St. Peter says, "But you'll be sodomized and gang banged". Slicker's Mom says, "Yeah, well I already have holes for that!"
a: yOU CATCH YOUR DAD GREASING UP HIS ANUS WITH wAL-mART STORE BRAND vASOLINE AND PAINTING A BIG BULLSEYE ACROSS HIS ASS. iT'S GOING TO BE A LONG NIGHT IF HE'S GOT THE CLOWN SUIT AND THAT WEIRD CONTRAPTION HE USES TO ATTACH DILDOS TO HIS ELBOWS.
(oKAY, i THOUGHT THAT WOULD FALL UNDER "FUNNY BECAUSE IT'S TRUE," BUT IT'S JUST TRUE AND NOT REALLY FUNNY.)
WHAT DUZ MABUDAN SAY WHEN A GORELLAS NUTZ HIT HIM IN THE FACE?
YUM.
NOW THAT IS A GOD DAM GAYE ROBAT!!! LOOK A THAT FUCKIN DICK ON HIS HAND, HE PROBLY SUX IT EVER NITE CUZ HE IS A GAY FAG LIEK U FAGGETS!! MAN, U FAGS LIEK ROBAT DONG HANDS UP UR GAY ASSES DON'T U, HA HA HA HA HA HA I NEW IT!!!
A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to science. The new element has been tentatively named “Governmentium”. Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is theoretically inert, although some research has indicated that above a certain threshold presence, it can be highly toxic. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second. Governmentium has a normal half-life of three years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as “Critical Morass”. You will know it when you see it.