I was back in high school, living at my parents' house from that time, but I was still married and had kids (even though my wife and kids didn't actually show up, I somehow know this). What should seem the most memorable part of the dream was the part that I remember the least about: I had cloned Marvin Gaye for a science fair project, and had to keep him hidden from his father (who was my neighbor, or something), because I knew he'd want to kill him again. [Seriously. Fuck Marvin Gaye Sr. We should retroactively stop calling him by that name and call him Fucktard Asshole Shitface Cunthead Jones.] So it was sort of like a bad movie where a kid has to hide an alien or Frankenstein or some shit, only with me and Marvin Gaye.
The part I remember in more detail probably would be more appropriate here, though. I went online (with the 2012 internet and connection speed on my old-ass-even-for-the-time Tandy 1000EX) and was on Amazon and found a solicitation for the newest Star Wars book, which had set fandom ablaze (and not just because the cover art was the same painting used on the ultra-shitty Children of the Jedi):
Even better than that description (mostly from memory, a few minor holes filled in) was the Amazon discussion. Mostly people were bitching about how this was going to be worse than the prequels, worse than Legacy, worse than The Crystal Star... but JJL was there, complete with his vynsane.com "bouncing boobs" avatar, defending it because it was too early to judge without reading it.Star Wars: The Coming White Knight
As Imperial Warlord Zsinj threatens the fledgeling New Republic, a new battlefield opens when Mon Mothma attempts to establish a forward base on the ancient frozen shopping mall planet of Qualooine. However, the Qualooinians will only negotiate with a male war hero, and their bizarre method of showing respect prompts Leia Organa Solo to forbid her husband to take part, instead sending him on a yearlong battle against Zsinj in another part of the galaxy.
Luckily, her brother Luke Skywalker agrees to the task before asking what it entails. And then he discovers the truth: the Qualooinians will only deal with one that they deem worthy, and they judge worthiness by the size of the orgasm achieved when a man publicly receives a handjob from two scantilly-clad young women.
And then New Republic spies learn a more shocking bit of information: Zsinj has sent his envoy, Ron Jeremy, to also deal with the Qualooinians, who will execute the man with the lesser orgasm.
Luke must muster all of his Jedi training (and wild fantasies about that crazy redheaded Imperial chick that tried to kill him) to ensure that he will fill the skies of Qualooine with his sperm, becoming the legendary Cum Snow Man of prehistoric Qualoonian prophecy.