Happy Birthday to Members with no posts

[anarky]

I think he's only in one story (with all the rest of the shit coming from people afterward that's taken as canon for some reason), and he's described as a cross between a giant dragon and a human, with a head like an octopus. There's very little description.

Aside from the occasional name-dropping (particularly of an arcane book of spells called the Necromonicon), there's very little continuity between the stories. It's not at all what I expected (partly in that it's quite good).

[RoIIo Tomassi]

Happy Birthday, UUStephen.
You Russian bastard. Cthulu called. He wants to bite your tiny pecker off with his vagina face.

[RoIIo Tomassi]

Happy BDay, DrenkedoKed!
Is that a fucking LACE DOILIE for your avatar?
Masculine FAIL, dude.

[RoIIo Tomassi]

Happy birthday...two assholes from yesterday. Again, you're forgettable so your names aren't important.

[RoIIo Tomassi]

Happy Birthday, boxxybabetu!

I'm giving you half a point just for having a catchy name.

And also Emotoprultums. Which might have garnered some praise had you not shared a birthday with boxxy "two exxes" babetu. But you did. So you're second banana chump.

[RoIIo Tomassi]

Happy Birthday, WhateHetamura!

[anarky]

Sounds Japanese.

[RoIIo Tomassi]

Yup. Japanese, by way of Zimbabwe.

[anarky]

Little-known fact: the original inhabitants of Japan were from Zimbabwe and were stranded there when their plane had a layover in Tokyo, but the airline went bankrupt and they had no way to get home.

[RoIIo Tomassi]

And they all got jaundice.



What.

[anarky]

Kidding aside, the original inhabitants of Japan are one of those bizarre puzzles. They looked like crackers, but DNA tests on their descendants (the Ainu) are pretty conclusive that they're not Caucasian. Their language is unrelated to any known language. It's like evidence of non-"Indian" humans being found in America that pre-dates the existence of the Bering land bridge, or the bizarre linguistic and cultural origins of the Basques.

Seriously, I'm not one of these wackjob conspiracy theorists, but I'm pretty sure there's a lot about ancient history we haven't got the slightest clue about yet. If there's an afterlife, I'm going to spend a fucking long time in the history section of their library.

[RoIIo Tomassi]

Happy birthday, Flurnerar!!

[RoIIo Tomassi]

And a very special Birthday wish to you, Proplexpazeled!

I'm so sorry my randy giraffe took your anal virginity. But in the giraffes defense, you never said a single word whilst he was plowing your chubby cheeks. Hmmm. Kinda like you've never said anything in the forums.

[anarky]

Hate to break it to your giraffe, but he wasn't a virgin. He uses that line a lot to get action. You might want to take Randy to the vet to be checked for genital warts.

[RoIIo Tomassi]

That....fucker.

But, the giraffe's name is Raphael. Randy is just an adjective.