We should start a Kris Kristofferson "thing"

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Re: We should start a Kris Kristofferson "thing"

Postby mabudon » Sun Dec 23, 2007 9:57 am

Dude, that second one is one of the funniest things EVER- I fuckin "storyboarded" it in my head and FUCK man that's funny :mabs:
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Re: We should start a Kris Kristofferson "thing"

Postby anarky » Wed Oct 22, 2008 3:56 pm

Kris Kristofferson once walked out on stage with Boy George at a Culture Club concert. The resulting deluge of panties thrown by the audience turned Boy George straight for six weeks afterward.
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Re: We should start a Kris Kristofferson "thing"

Postby Rollo Tomassi » Wed Oct 22, 2008 7:17 pm

Kris Kristofferson once deliberately got himself stranded halfway between the earth and the moon. So he stuck his thumb out to hitch a ride, and he ended up getting a ride from himself.
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Re: We should start a Kris Kristofferson "thing"

Postby anarky » Fri Dec 12, 2008 6:27 pm

Everlast wanted to cover a Kris Kristofferson tune. He asked Kris nicely if he could cover "To Beat the Devil." Kris said he always allowed people to cover his songs on one condition--if they didn't improve upon the original, he would kick their ass. Everlast realized that he was not up to the challenge, and covered "Folsom Prison Blues" instead. He is the first person to realize they were not good enough and not take the challenge. Only Janis Joplin got off the hook when it came ass-whooping time, but that's because Kris was banging her at the time.
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Re: We should start a Kris Kristofferson "thing"

Postby anarky » Wed Sep 23, 2009 11:52 am

Not really the right place, but I didn't feel like starting a new thread.

["When has that ever stopped you before?"]

Amazon's recommendation systems is a real pile of horseshit. "We notice you bought Transmetropolitan Vol. 1. You might also like women's panties." Really, I got a recommendation of some fucking Judy Garland collection because I ordered some John Williams soundtrack years ago.

So I have something like ten CDs by Kristofferson. All but one, I bought from Amazon. You'd think when he re-releases an awful lot of out-of-print CDs on his own label, they might think, "Here's a recommendation that makes sense!" But no. I only know about it because I pre-ordered his new album and they showed up in my Gold Box this morning. And how did I know about his new album? Because three days ago, I clicked on something it recommended that had such a small thumbnail I couldn't tell what it was, and it turned out to be some album by some fucking redneck.

So, yeah, he put out something like ten OOP albums back in June and July. Thanks for keeping me posted, Amazon. Not like I'm going to see that shit on the shelf at Target.
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Re: We should start a Kris Kristofferson "thing"

Postby vynsane » Wed Sep 23, 2009 12:10 pm

i have the opposite problem. their recommendations are so on-the-nose, i usually already have the item, so any of their recommendations are completely useless!

did you rate a lot of stuff? i rated a bunch of shit and get pretty good recommendations. those based on what you've bought aren't as good as those you've rated.
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Re: We should start a Kris Kristofferson "thing"

Postby Diabolical » Wed Sep 23, 2009 1:54 pm

I've had Amazon recommend things I already bought from Amazon.
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Re: We should start a Kris Kristofferson "thing"

Postby anarky » Wed Sep 23, 2009 2:04 pm

Same here. I also cannot convince it I don't want movies on BluRay and don't own an XBox.
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Re: We should start a Kris Kristofferson "thing"

Postby vynsane » Wed Sep 23, 2009 3:45 pm

the blu-ray thing must be a marketing push, as i continue to get emails about how i've been interested in blu-ray releases, and yet have never actively searched for any title on blu-ray and also don't get any in my recommendations on the actual site.
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Re: We should start a Kris Kristofferson "thing"

Postby anarky » Sun Oct 07, 2012 9:53 pm

Kris Kristofferson is the only man who has heard Chuck Norris say, "You fucking dirtbag son of a bitch--Oh, wait, you were so deep in my wife that I didn't recognize you. Want I should make you some pancakes for when you're done? Don't mind me, make her scream as loudly as you want, I can still hear the TV. Can I get your autograph when you're done with her? You're good with maple syrup, right, or do I need to pick up some whipped cream and chocolate chips?"
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Re: We should start a Kris Kristofferson "thing"

Postby RoIIo Tomassi » Mon Oct 08, 2012 8:43 am

Kris Kristofferson once went to Mt. Saraha and introduced Ninjas to guitars. He taught them how to wail. Afterwards, a chorus of 1000 Ninjas wailing on guitars led by Kris was too much for the Mountain to handle and it shattered into a billion billions tiny rocks. Shamed, the ninja clan began walking East into the rising sun and banished themselves to the islands at the end of the world.
The remaining inhabitants of what was once a mountain and was now a sea of endless sand were so in awe of Kristofferson, they proclaimed him the Sun King, Ra. He shagged a desert hottie. She got pregnant and her child became the first Pharoah of a Dynasty that lasted centuries.
They asked Ra what was most precious to him in the world. He responded "Pussy.". And thus the desert people began worshipping cats.
"Say Jim! Whoo! That is a bad outfit! Whoooo!"

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Re: We should start a Kris Kristofferson "thing"

Postby anarky » Sat Apr 13, 2013 12:25 pm

I posted this to Facebook to mock all those shitty "Share if you love Jesus" photos. (I captioned it with the first couple of lines from "Why Me?") I'm morbidly curious if my Jesus-picture sharing relatives will start a trend of clueless people sharing this until it goes viral. No loss if it doesn't, but I can't help but wonder if the "I'd better share this image of Jesus with a spam link in the caption or I'll go to Hell!" crowd will be that oblivious.
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Re: We should start a Kris Kristofferson "thing"

Postby anarky » Thu Aug 25, 2016 9:46 am

Kris Kristofferson didn't need to catch all the Pokemon.

Kris Kristofferson conceived all the Pokemon after he got held up at a Nympho Furry convention.

True story.
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