Search found 34 matches

by Santa Claus
Mon Nov 18, 2013 11:45 pm
Forum: general discussion
Topic: I'm taking a fucking year off
Replies: 1
Views: 1946

I'm taking a fucking year off

That's right. I've earned this shit. You can all fuck yourselves if you don't like it. Of course, I can leave all the little snot-nosed shits unattended, so, while I'm gone, someone is going to have to fill in for me. I've already taken the liberty of choosing the one forumite whom I most trust to ...
by Santa Claus
Thu Dec 22, 2011 11:16 pm
Forum: general discussion
Topic: hEY, dIABOLICAL!!
Replies: 20
Views: 14241

Re: hEY, dIABOLICAL!!

I am here to back up Bizarro The Grin's cunty claim to your ass. We'll see if you start posting shit about me being a "bad Santa" on the Facebox. Mess up my chances with the ladies, you did. Enjoy that Joker-looking motherfucker ramming all twelve inches of his diseased cock into your eve...
by Santa Claus
Thu Dec 10, 2009 3:12 am
Forum: dare to be stupid
Topic: Character Christmas Special
Replies: 8
Views: 5193

Re: Character Christmas Special

Shut the fuck up, assholes.

My new associate, pictured here getting ready to shove apples up Snigtad's cornhole, is going to be visiting you shitheads this year.


Image
by Santa Claus
Sun Nov 29, 2009 12:59 am
Forum: announcements
Topic: Don't kiss Santa, he may have the flu
Replies: 2
Views: 1466

Re: Don't kiss Santa, he may have the flu

Fucking-A right, bitches.

I will still be kissing Tiger Woods' hot-as-fuck wife now that his naughty black ass is in the hospital. I make that bitch pant so hard, she wouldn't even notice if she got the flu.

Ho ho ho indeed.
by Santa Claus
Mon Dec 15, 2008 1:54 pm
Forum: general discussion
Topic: HO HO HO!
Replies: 27
Views: 12213

Re: HO HO HO!

All right, Joker, I'll admit it: I was wrong. You are really good at this. So good, I think I'm going to take this year off. Are you up to the task of delivering presents to all the kids? That pussy Jack Skellington wasn't, but you've got at least five pounds on him. When you're done with that, and...
by Santa Claus
Fri Dec 12, 2008 2:35 pm
Forum: general discussion
Topic: HO HO HO!
Replies: 27
Views: 12213

Re: HO HO HO!

It's magic, motherfucker. You know, the thing that causes wonder.

Oh, that's right. The only thing you consider "magic" is the feeling of Solomon Grundy plowing into your ass with all 27 inches.

Though I do concur vynsane definitely is getting Mac & Me.
by Santa Claus
Fri Dec 05, 2008 7:38 pm
Forum: general discussion
Topic: HO HO HO!
Replies: 27
Views: 12213

Re: HO HO HO!

I'm taking over for that jolly incompetent fatass this year, so I'll be distributing gifts for all you good little boys and girls. The fuck you say, dipshit. I will pop a cap in your punk ass so fast if you even talk that way again. Here's jjreason's real gift: CoalBituminous[1].jpg It's a lump of ...
by Santa Claus
Wed Oct 22, 2008 1:49 pm
Forum: announcements
Topic: Longtime Mall Santa Out in the Cold
Replies: 2
Views: 811

Re: Longtime Mall Santa Out in the Cold

Serves him right.

Fucking impostor.
by Santa Claus
Mon Sep 22, 2008 3:23 pm
Forum: toys
Topic: You want to know what pisses me off?
Replies: 3
Views: 1579

You want to know what pisses me off?

Fucking Star Wars fanboys. "Ooh, bring me a BMF Millennium Falcon! Bring me an AT-TE." Shut the fuck up, dipshits. Have you cuntsquirts seen how big those fucking boxes are? If I brought you each one of those giant pieces of shit, well, only three of you would get anything. The fucking bo...
by Santa Claus
Thu Sep 18, 2008 5:06 pm
Forum: general discussion
Topic: Welcome... Jargo
Replies: 120
Views: 47734

Re: Welcome... Jargo

I'm making a list, and checking it twice.

And you, Jargo, ain't getting shit.
by Santa Claus
Fri Dec 21, 2007 3:14 pm
Forum: general discussion
Topic: The Twelve Days of Christmas, 2007
Replies: 35
Views: 8205

Re: The Twelve Days of Christmas, 2007

Are you daft or illiterate, you Yoda-looking motherfucker? I get another slave for my mines from this deal. You get to look forward to a lifetime of buggering and depravity from the Bizarros. Mrs Claus is a fucking bitch, anyway. It was an arranged marriage, and we only stay together for appearance...
by Santa Claus
Fri Dec 21, 2007 3:00 pm
Forum: general discussion
Topic: The Twelve Days of Christmas, 2007
Replies: 35
Views: 8205

Re: The Twelve Days of Christmas, 2007

Dumbass. You just publicly admitted that I'm not the father. I may get to raise the bastard (and he'll be toiling in the candy cane mines for his short, miserable life), but you're the one who gets buttfucked by Bizarro the Grip and Grin for the rest of your life. Enjoy your anal virginity while it...
by Santa Claus
Fri Dec 21, 2007 1:50 pm
Forum: general discussion
Topic: The Twelve Days of Christmas, 2007
Replies: 35
Views: 8205

Re: The Twelve Days of Christmas, 2007

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

A blowjob.

It almost made up for all the other crazy shit she got me this year.

Bitch better have kept some receipts, that's all I'm saying.
by Santa Claus
Sat Dec 15, 2007 1:24 pm
Forum: general discussion
Topic: The Twelve Days of Christmas, 2007
Replies: 35
Views: 8205

Re: The Twelve Days of Christmas, 2007

Bitch, don't argue with Santa.

I see you all when you're sleeping. It's a thong. Just like yours is a pair of Thundercats underroos with skidmarks and too many holes.

Can I get an amen?
by Santa Claus
Fri Dec 14, 2007 2:30 pm
Forum: general discussion
Topic: Merry Christmas, motherfuckers
Replies: 44
Views: 20143

Re: Merry Christmas, motherfuckers

I'm making my 2007 list, and fucking checking it three times this year, bitches.

Once I finish computing the data, I'll be back to deliver the bad news, you bastards.