the vynsane asylum

I DON'T HAVE A MUSTACHE. MOST TRANSFORMERS DON'T. THERE WAS THIS KID, THOUGH, WHO WAS A FRESHMAN WHEN I WAS A SENIOR WHO GREW A DOOZY OF A MUSTACHE. NAME WAS ALPHA TRION. WONDER WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT YOUNGSTER? ALWAYS SKETCHING FASHION DESIGNS; TOLD THIS KID I USED TO BABYSIT THAT HE WANTED TO &quo...

JARGO, EH? THAT REMINDS ME OF THE CAMPAIGN AGAINST THE QUINTESSONS ON THE PLANET JORGON V. I WAS IN CHARGE OF A BATTALION OF NEW SOLDIERS, INCLUDING THIS YOUNG WHIPPERSNAPPER, IRONHIDE. WE LANDED ON JORGON V IN THE MIDST OF PETRO-RABBIT MATING SEASON. THOSE PETRO-RABBITS, THEY WERE GOING AT IT LIKE...

WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THE DOUCHE CYBERWARS? AND THE MURDER OF ETERNAL PADAWAN AND THE MULTIPLE ROLLOS? GRIMLOCK, MARIO, BATMAN, SWEDISH CHEF, ROBIN--YOU GUYS ARE THE SORRIEST EXCUSE FOR DETECTIVES I'VE SEEN SINCE THE PETRO-RABBITS ON MOLTADOR IV BACK WHEN OPTIMUS PRIME WAS JUST A YOUNGUN KNEE-HIGH T...

GRIMLOCK, YOU STUPID DINOBOT! THERE'S BEEN A FUCKING MURDER OF ONE OF THE FLESHLINGS, AND THE OTHER MODERATORS ARE TOO BUSY YANKING THEIR EXHAUST PIPES. SHOW SOME BALL BEARINGS, FOR PRIMUS' SAKE! I'VE BROUGHT IN TWO OF THE BEST INVESTIGATORS IN THE KNOWN UNIVERSE TO HELP YOU OUT, SINCE YOU'RE A BIT...