the vynsane asylum

i AM WORKING ON PLACING MY OTHER MACHINE INTO YOUR ASS AS WE SPEAK. tHINK OF IT AS MANDATORY.

aND BY "OTHER MACHINE," i OF COURSE AM REFERRING TO MY BIG, BLACK DICK.

IT'S GETTING REALLY SLIPPERY ON THE ROAD TO YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUTTHOLE.

Somehow I missed the news about Bush on Friday and didn't find out about him until Sunday. mAN, bIZARRO bIZARRO bIZARRO bIZARRO bIZARRO tHE gRIN IS GOING TO BE SO UPSET. hE FUCKS EX-PRESIDENTS. bUT HE'S NOT INTO THE WHOLE NECROPHILIA SCENE. tHAT'D BE bIZARRO bIZARRO bIZARRO bIZARRO bIZARRO bIZARRO ...

dEAD? nOSIREEBOB. i JUST WENT SO DEEP IN JJREASON'S ASS THAT i GOT STUCK IN THERE. i'VE BEEN INSIDE HIS COLON FOR THE PAST YEAR, BRINGING HIM OODLES OF PLEASURE! bUT i DECIDED i WAS NEGLECTING ALL YOU OTHER FATHERS, SO i ASKED HIM TO SHIT ME OUT, AND HERE i AM! nEVER MIND THE BROWN GLOBS IN MY HAIR...

tHIS MORNING, I WENT DOWN ON YOUR DAD.

wHAT? tHAT'S ALL. i WENT DOWN ON HIM. nO PUNCHLINE, JUST YOUR DAD'S NUTS ON MY CHIN.

yUM.

jjreason wrote:Fuck me.

dON'T NEED TO ASK ME TWICE!! bRACE YOURSELF, jIMBO. bIZARRO tHE gRIN IS CUMMING!!

i JUST GOT BACK FROM A GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY.

i HAD ABOUT TWENTY YEARS WORTH OF hAN sOLO BUTT-LOVING TO CATCH UP ON! oOOOOOOOOOOOYES!!!!

yOU KNOW WHO'S FAMOUS AND DEAD? mY LOVE AFFAIR WITH BRUCE JENNER'S SWEET ASS. hE'S GONE AND MADE HIMSELF A WOMAN. mEANING HE'S A MOM. bIZARRO tHE gRIN DON'T MAKE LOVE TO NO MOMMIES. hE'S--i MEAN she's ALL YOURS, tHE gRIN! i'LL JUST CONSOLE MYSELF BY STICKING MY BIG, BLACK DICK IN tOM fOOLERY. :D

Disembodied Voice wrote:DOUCHE!

DOUCHE!

DOUCHE!!

KRAKA-DOUCHE!!!!

PERPANTOR IS COMING!!!!!

i DON'T KNOW ABOUT pERPANTOR, BUT pERPANTOR'S DAD IS CUMMING!

sPLOOSH! sPLOOSH! kRAKA-sPLOOSH!!

yOU GUYS ARE DOING SUCH A GOOD JOB WITH THE FATHER THING, i THINK YOU DESERVE SOME GOOD OLD-FASHIONED SLOPPY BLOWJOBS IN YOUR HONOR.

nOW, OPEN WIDE, 'CAUSE i'M GOING IN DEEP!!

nO. bUT jABBAjOHNl'S DADDY LIKES MY SWEET, SWEET COCK IN HIS BOWL.

i SMOOTHED YOUR DAD PRETTY GOOD A WHILE BACK!

fUN FACT FOR THE DAY: oRIGINALLY, i WAS GOING TO ACTUALLY APPEAR IN THE COMMERCIAL, BUT i HAD A PRIOR ENGAGEMENT WITH pRINCE wILLIAM ON THE DAY IT WAS FILMED. tHAT'S ACTUALLY aCADEMY aWARD-WINNING ACTOR dUSTIN hOFFMAN AS ME!

i CAN GET YOU EXCITED, BUDDY! i'VE DONE BOTH OF sUPERMAN'S FATHERS. i PREFER jONATHAN. hE FUCKS LIKE A MAN, TAKES HIS TIME. jOR-eL USES HIS SUPER SPEED AND HE'S DONE IN TEN SECONDS. wHAT A WASTE OF GOOD vASELINE. bUT gILBERT gOTTFRIED, WOAH, NELLY! iN FACT, i HAD AN INCREDIBLE THREESOME WITH HIM AN...

i'M SO SORRY ABOUT YOUR BIRTHDAY. bIZZARO tHE gRIP AND i WERE HOPING IT WOULD BE SPECIAL, SO WE STAYED AWAY FOR A DAY.

mEET US AT THE rIO TONIGHT, AND WE'LL PUT A SMILE ON YOUR FACE WITH A wILLIE lUMPKIN YOU'LL NEVER FORGET!